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Two guys are playing cards in a nursing home, when a naked old lady with a walker goes streaking.
One guy say’s “what was that?”
the other guy responds, “I don’t know, but it needed ironing!”
6 Likes
A joke walks into a restaurant.
The maitre d’ says, “ Wow that’s wierd, I’ve never Meta joke before “. 
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zona79 
1 Like
My dad died when we couldn’t remember his blood type.
As he died, he kept insisting for us to “be positive,” but it’s hard without him.
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I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my Grandfather, not screaming in terror like his passengers.
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What rock group has 4 guys that can’t sing or play instruments ?
Mount Rushmore
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Here’s two for Ryan:
Why can’t basketball players go on vacation?
They aren’t allowed to travel.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
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Awesome, he will love them, thank you 
There was a blonde, a brunette and a redhead trapped on an island and the nearest land was 50 miles away. The redhead swam to land but only made it 15 miles then drowned. The brunette swam 24 miles and then drowned. The blonde swam 25 miles but then got tired so swam back to the island.
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Four Catholic men and a Catholic woman were having coffee.
The first Catholic man tells his friends, “My son is a Priest, when he walks into a room, everyone calls him ‘Father’.”
The second Catholic man chirps, “My son is a Bishop. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Grace’.”
The third Catholic gent says, “My son is a Cardinal. When he enters a room everyone says ‘Your Eminence’.”
The fourth Catholic man then says, “My son is the Pope. When he walks into a room people call him ‘Your Holiness’.”
Since the lone Catholic woman was sipping her coffee in silence, the four men give her a subtle, “Well…?”
She proudly replies, "I have a daughter, slim, tall, 36/24/36. When she walks into a room, people say, “Oh My God.”
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That was great 
Funny Funny Funny
Good one Minnow. Will share with Hubby and Friends.
Don’t challenge Death to a pillow fight unless you can handle the reaper cushions.
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OMG, talk about dark humor! (Hilarious.)
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May be my all time favorite…
A blind man with a cane comes into a bar,he pokes his way to the bar and sits
down. The bartender ask what will you have? He says a beer and the bartender
hands him one and the blind man says… Hey you want to hear a dumb blonde
joke?? The bartender leans in and says I’m an ex Marine about 6-5 and 250
pounds and I’m a blonde the bar owner is a former Navy Seal about 260 pounds and
he’s blonde our bouncer is a blonde and our 2 waitresses are both blondes that are triple black belts and are MMA fighters… You still want to tell that dumb blonde joke???
The blind man says Hell no not if I’m gonna have to tell it 5 times!!!
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Hahahahahaha, good thing I’m not a blonde
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There are eleven people hanging on a rope that comes down from an airplane. Ten of them are blonde and one is brunette.
They all decide that one person should get off because if they don’t, the rope will break and everyone will die. No one can decide who should go, so finally the brunette delivers a very touching speech ending with the words “I’ll get off”. The blondes are all very moved by her speech and start clapping. Problem solved.
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What did the science book say to the math book ?
Wow, you’ve got problems
4 Likes