I used to go to clubs in Hollywood, CA in the '70’s and learned that you should always only dance with the one you came with.
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This is fairly simple. Adams Apple, Guy, no Adams Apple, girl.
Stay away from anyone wearing a scarf or turtleneck 
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I apologise for missing this Boricua25. I will keep a closer eye on the jokes thread and make sure it stays on topic.
I apoligigized there was no ill intent meant
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May I remind everyone that this thread is for posting jokes, and an amusing reply is fine. We are tolerant of innuendo and all good fun, but racist, political and crude jokes will be removed. Most of these jokes are great and we wish to encourage light hearted ones.
Thanks for your cooperation, and enjoy good clean fun!!
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If you have 13 apples in one hand and 10 oranges in the other, what do you have?
Big hands.
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A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream parlor.
“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”
The boy licked his cone and replied:
“Because the day I take the dollar the game is over!”
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The man who invented the Knock Knock joke won the no bell prize
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My son said Dad, I got a part in the school play, I play a man who’s been married 25 years. I said maybe next time you will get a speaking part
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I was at Walmart earlier. A lady was looking at the frozen turkeys, but she couldn’t find one BIG enough. She asked the stock boy, do these turkeys get any BIGGER. He said , No ma’ma theyre dead
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A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke. Thank goodness it was a soft drink.
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Three fans were talking about the sad state of their local club;
The first fan blamed…: “I blame the manager; if we could sign better players, we’d be a great club.”
The second fan blamed…: “I blame the players; if they made more effort, I’m sure we would score more goals.”
The third fan blamed…: “I blame my parents; if I had been born in a different town, I’d be supporting a decent team.”
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A week before the Champions League final a few years ago there was an ad in a local newspaper which said:
“Local man offers marriage to any woman that has tickets to the Champions League final. Those interested must send in photo of the tickets.”
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Did you hear about the person who got kicked out of mime school?
It was something they said.
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Why didn’t the two dogs make serious Valentine’s Day plans?
It was just puppy love.
What did the couple say after they were struck by Cupid’s arrow?
“Ouch!”
Who always has a date on Valentine’s Day?
A calendar.
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Why should you never play poker at the zoo?
Too many cheetahs.
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