This one goes out to whoever invented the zero.
Thanks for nothing.
Only tried it 3 times, this time.
RavenLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL Hey I am blonde!
Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, are excessively mischievous.
They are always getting into trouble and their parents know if any mischief occurs in their town, the two boys are probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys.
The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually.
The mother sent the 8 year old in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a deep booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, “Do you know where God is, son?”
The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open.
So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, “Where is God?!”
Again, the boy made no attempt to answer.
The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, “Where is God?!"
The boy screamed & bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked “What happened?”
The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, “We are in BIG trouble this time!”
“GOD is missing, and they think WE did it!”
GratefulEd You right bro I willtell u why I went to get a credit card last week I filled out the nfo my interest rate was gonna be 78% so my Lady said no to get it . She got good credit so I use her credit card I am a dummy but sometimes I am smart
she smart Sue!
A newly married couple are in bed, when the man asks his wife how many men she has slept with
After the question, the woman doesn’t respond.
The man asks again “Just tell me, it’s fine. How many men have you slept with?”
His wife, still in total silence, just stares at the ceiling.
The man says “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought we could trust each other…”
Still silence from his wife.
The man, giving up, says “It’s OK. Please don’t be upset.”
Since the woman is still silent, the man starts hugging and kissing her, showing his affection.
While he is doing this, his wife seems to come to her senses, stops looking at the ceiling, looks at him, and upset, tells her husband,
“Damn it! You made me lose count!”
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into the cab and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won’t stop staring at her. She asks him why he is staring.
He replies: “I have a question to ask, but I don’t want to offend you”
She answers, ” My son, you cannot offend me. When you’re as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about everything.
I’m sure that there’s nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive.”
“Well, I’ve always had a fantasy to have a nun kiss me.”
She responds, “Well, let’s see what we can do about that –
you have to be single and
you must be Catholic.”
The cab driver is very excited and says, “Yes, I’m single and Catholic!”
“OK,” the nun says. “Pull into the next alley.”
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a kiss that would make a hooker blush. But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
“My dear child,” said the nun, why are you crying?”
“Forgive me but I’ve sinned. I lied and I must confess, I’m married and I’m Jewish.”
The nun says, “That’s OK. My name is Steve and I’m going to a Halloween party!”
What is a foot long and slippery? A slipper 
What’s brown and sticky?
A stick.
Q. What’s brown and sticky?
A.A stick
Q. What’s green and sticky?
A. A green stick
Q. What’s clear and sticky?
A. Sellotape.
and finally
Bet you said “a clear stick” and wanted to know what’s in the big blurry bit at the bottom
Don’t even get me started on Velcro.
What a rip-off …
“When I was a boy, I’d lay in my twin-sized bed and wonder where my brother was.”
Mitch Hedberg
If you get heartburn every time you eat birthday cake, try taking the candles off. 
One of the greatest mysteries of the universe: How did God use a rib to make a megaphone?! (lol)
Ryan…What did the puppy call his dad’s best friend?
His godpawther.
What is Abraham Lincoln’s favorite toy?
Lincoln Logs