Did you hear about the first restaurant to open on the moon?
It had great food, but no atmosphere.
5 Likes
Doctor: “How can I help you today?”
Blonde: “It hurts right here, OUCH” she says as she points to her shoulder
Doctor: “Ok, Does it hurt elsewhere on you?”
Blonde: “It sure does, on my leg here, OUCH” she says as she points to her leg.
Doctor: “I see, does it hurt in any other places?”
Blonde: “Sure does. On my back right here, OUCH.” she cries as she points to her back.
Doctor: “Are you actually a blonde that dyed her her brown?”
Blonde: “Yes! How on earth did you know?”
Doctor: “Well, you have actually got a broken finger.” 
5 Likes
Due to the massive increase in deliveries, Fed Ex and UPS have joined forces and are now Fed-Up.
3 Likes
Due to the high prices in food the 5 second rule is now 10 seconds.
6 Likes
A Russian and an American are having a hot debate about who was the first on the moon.
Russian: “You know this Mr American, we were the first ones in the outer space.”
American: “No way buddy, it was us dang it! We were the first! America baby”
A blonde lady comes along and says, “That is nothing, we are going to be the first ones on the sun!”
The Russian and American burst out laughing and eventually say to her “Sorry but you can’t go to the sun, you would burn up and die”
Blonde: “Oh my gosh, we are not idiots. We plan on traveling at night time.”
1 Like
1- A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: “Did you find the shampoo?”
He answers, “Yes, but I’m not sure what to do… it’s for dry hair, and I’ve already wet mine.”
2- A blond man sees a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope “DO NOT BEND.”
He spends the next two hours trying to figure out how to pick it up.
3- A blond man shouts frantically into the phone, “My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart.”
“Is this her first child?” asks the doctor.
“No,” he shouts. “This is her husband.”
6 Likes
Oh no, blonde man jokes. Here they come 
2 Likes
Glad for every single grey hair…
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Me too
1 Like
A blonde woman thought her clothes dryer was shrinking her clothes.
Tlurned out it was the refrigerator.
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What do you give a blonde who has everything?
Penicillin
.
What is the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot?
There have been bigfoot sightings
.
What do blondes and dog poo have in common?
The older they get, the easier they are to pick up
4 Likes
A blonde lady is driving down the highway at lightning speed in her new sports car when a traffic officer pulls her over. The traffic officer is also a blonde woman.
The blonde officer approaches the blonde lady’s car and requests to see her drivers licence. The lady starts searching high and low for her licence and become extremely frustrated until finally she asks “what does the my licence look like?”
The blonde officer replies “it is a square which has a picture of you on it”.
The blonde lady finally pulls out a compact mirror from her purse and hands it to the officer, “I think I found it” she says as she hands the mirror over.
The blonde officer takes a quick look at the mirror and replies “I’m ever so sorry, I didn’t realise that you were a traffic officer too” and lets the lady go.
4 Likes
A blonde was getting sick of all the blonde jokes that she was hearing at work so one night she decided to go home and learn all of the state capitals of the USA.
She comes into work the next day and proudly claims, “us blondes are smarter than you realise, I know all of the state capitals, test me and I’ll tell you the answer”.
A fellow worker says, “ok, tell me what is the capital of Arizona?”
The blonde replies “A”
3 Likes
What’s brown and tan, yellow and orange, red and blue, green and white ?
My shirt after Thanksgiving Dinner 
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You know you overdid it at Thanksgiving when you thought the serving size for turkey was “one.”
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A woman got a pet parrot, but
she was horrified to discover
that all it did was say mean
things and insult her. Nothing
she did could stop it. She was
especially worried because her
whole family was coming over
for Thanksgiving.
But when Thanksgiving dinner
finally came, the parrot didn’t
say a word the entire time.
After the meal, the Parrot
turned to its owner and said.
"Please forgive my behavior
from before, I was entirely out
of line. “
“Wow,” the woman said, “glad
to hear it.”
“If I may ask,” said the Parrot,
"what on Earth did that Turkey say to you ? “
8 Likes