My husband always wanted to be his own boss, but sadly he got married…
Wife and I were watching TV last night. After a while, I turned to my wife, ran my hand up her thigh, across her belly, and down her legs. When I turned back to watch TV, she asked, “Why stop ?” I said, “Found the remote.”
I think this deserves a revisit!
My husband bought me shotgun for a present, so I asked him if he wanted to go hunting? He Said “Sure I’m game” so I shot him!
King Solomon said to his 1000 wives,“take a number for better service”
Amelia Earhart said “Leave me alone & find my luggage”
Michael Angelo’s girlfriend said to Angelo " instead of paint, can’t we just put a mirror up there?"
Adam said to Eve “What do you mean you don’t have anything to wear”
Those of you who are placing Christmas lights/decorations in your yards, would you please avoid anything that has red or blue flashing lights together? Every time I come around the corner, I think it’s the police and I have a panic attack. I have to brake hard, toss my wine out the window, fasten my seat belt, throw my phone on the floor, turn my radio down, and push the gun under the seat. All while trying to drive. It’s just too much drama, even for Christmas. Thank you for your cooperation and understanding.
My PC was acting up so I asked the neighbor boy Sonny to check it out. He said it was the “i d1 o t error.” I asked what that was. He said, “Write it down,” so I did:
“idiot error”
I did like that bad boy.
HAAAAAAAAA
It sounds like you should be Haydn in the closet until the Rites of Spring roll out the barrel (maybe they only celebrate that in Copeland, though).
Well played, Alan25main!
When it’s raining real hard I like to run stop signs just to make cops get out of their car. They say “do you know know why I pulled you over”? I reply “Do you know why I ran the stop sign”?
As long as the conversation doesn’t end up with “Say my abc’s backwards? I can’t even do that sober”.
Hint: Never tell the officer that pulls you over, “I can’t even do that sober!”…don’t ask me how I know. 