Someone knocked over Michelangelo’s David.
Now he’s got a chip on his shoulder.
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How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
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Did you hear about the person who got kicked out of mime school?
It was something they said.
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I liked my dentist so much, I gave him a little plaque.
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Someone stole their toilet seat. Now they have nothing to go on.
3 Likes
A man makes a wish that people would give him money whenever they see him.
The wishing well responds,
“You may want to think twice about that wish. Trust me.”
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Shout out to everyone who asks, “What’s the opposite of in?”
4 Likes
What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
Re-Morse code.
5 Likes
A weasel walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “I’ve never served a weasel before, what can I get you?”
“Pop,” goes the weasel.
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Where do boats go when they feel sick?
To the dock.
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“My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.”
I know it takes a minute to get it
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You need a LOVE BUTTON for that one.
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What did the woman ask God for while driving?
Give me a road sign!
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Anyone know the formula for water?
Sure! HIJKLMNO
H to O
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