You got to be kidding? Really?
Did you hear about the giant who threw up?
It’s all over town.
My dog ate a bunch of scrabble letters this morning so I dropped him to the vet.
I’ve been ringing them but there’s no word yet…
Four men are in the hospital waiting room because their wives are having babies.
A nurse goes up to the first guy and says, Congrats You’re the father of twins.
That’s odd, answers the man. I work for the Minnesota Twins.
A nurse says to the second guy, Congrats. You’re the father of triplets.
Thats weird, answers the second man, I work for the 3M company.
A nurse tells the third man, Congrats You’re the father of quadruplets.
That’s strange, he answers. I work for the Four Seasons Hotel.
The last man is groaning and banging his head against the wall.
What’s wrong the others ask.
I work for 7UP
Three pregnant women in a doctors office are talking and the first one says
“The doctor says we will have a boy since we did it standing up”.
The second women says “The doctor told me we would have a girl since we were lying down”.
The third women bursts into tears and the first two ask
“What is wrong”
The third women bursts out “Oh no we are going to have puppies!!!”.
Ryan @Craig_Anthony
How many lightbulbs dose it take to change people ?
Only one, but the people have to want change.
The first one to go out…anger management, lol
My friend’s car parts store got robbed.
She tried running after them but she just can’t catch a brake.
I went to the store to get a book about turtles. “Hardbacks?”
Asked the shopkeeper.
“Yes,” I replied. “They also have little tiny heads.”
A GUY WENT TO A DOCTOR AND TOLD HIM HIS GIRL FRIEND IS PREGNANT BUT I ALWAYS USE PROTECTION.
HOW IS THAT POSSIBLE.
THE DOCTOR SAID: LET ME TELL YOU A STORY.
THERE WAS ONCE A HUNTER WHO ALWAYS CARRIES A GUN WHEREVER HE GOES.
ONE DAY HE TOOK HIS UMBRELLA INSTEAD OF HIS GUN AND WENT OUT.
A LION SUDDENLY JUMPED IN FRONT OF HIM.
IN ORDER TO SCARE THE LION THE HUNTER USED THE UMBRELLA LIKE A GUN AND SHOT THE LION.
THE LION DIED
THE GUY SAID: NONSENSE !! SOME ONE ELSE MUST HAVE SHOT THE LION.
THE DOCTOR SAID:
GLAD YOU UNDERSTOOD THE STORY.
We don’tget smarter as we get older.
We just run out of stupid things to do.