CONTEST - Write your poker epitaph

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64

I come to Replay every day
To find another game to play
I settled in to play a game
But they always seem to end the same

I get a hand that can’t be beat
But the ending seems to just repeat
A player gets a RIVER card
And I take the LOSS pretty hard

It seems to happen every day
No matter how many games I play
My cards are NEVER ever good enough
And LOSING gets a little tough

I try to keep a ‘level’ head
But it seems I’m ALWAYS drawing ‘dead’
pocket queens or pocket kings
but we know what the RIVER brings

An ace will ALWAYS hit the board
And another player ‘thinks’ he scored
But it’s really simply lots of luck
Next time I get that hand…I’ll probably MUCK

3 Likes
65

I guess I’m drawing dead.

4 Likes
66

I Gave Her My Heart and Diamonds… But She clubbed me with a Spade,

6 Likes
67

The last hand he played
Was all-in and swift:
He pushed his family into bankruptcy–
His wife pushed him off a cliff!

3 Likes
68

BEST OF LUCK
(I HOPE YOU LOSE REAL QUICK)

2 Likes
69

Drowned on the river

3 Likes
70

I made some good bets and some bad ones , I really went in the hole with this one !

7 Likes
71

The Poker Gods hate me.

Example: Playing Omaha Hi/Lo after the turn I can have the best high and low hand however, the river card kills me both ways!

72

At the end of her lovely Ladies life
The Calling Station’s Long Odds came to light
Crippled, and Down to the Green she went
Til the Hit & Run Gut Shot, that #@!&$% Donkey Limped

73

Omaha was his game
Nine cars instead of seven
Texas holdum was too tame
Now he plays with St. Peter
But winning is not the same

1 Like
74

My, oh my, look what I see, two pretty pocket Aces staring up at me! Going to bet high, chips are low. Going to win this hand from ole’ Bettin Joe! Flop, turn, river, no help for me. Joe lands a straight, pretty as can be!

75

Why Are You Standing Here When You Could be Playing Poker?

7 Likes
76

I liked the stud tables, but when I went to hold 'em I got killed. (Sorry - couldn’t resist…)

3 Likes
77

Bettin’ Large When You’re a Medium Stack - RIP

78

Alright., finally., I cannot lose this hand! vnh, gg, gl everyone

79

Speculator speculated on one too many hands…

80

my know-how to play poker is dead :fault of mister replay’river

81

I played carefully, almost calculating their every move. I get pocket 9’s,
and wait for the flop. It hits and my dreams come through. 997. I have
patience and time so I call big blind. The turn comes…looks like he is
on a flush draw. I still got him. Wait till river and nail him. River is on his
side, and its a flush alright…straight……………bad beat Tom goes down…

3 Likes
82

Here lies Chip. He was a flop on the flop, took a turn for the worse, and needed a bigger boat on the river.

4 Likes
83

Here lies the girl who lost with quad kings.

1 Like