The Music Man “Ya Got Trouble” - YouTube
Well, Ya got trouble, my friend, right here
I say, trouble right here in River City
Why sure I’m a billiard player
Certainly mighty proud I say
I’m always mighty proud to say it
I consider that the hours I spend
With a cue in my hand are golden
Help you cultivate horse sense
And a cool head and a keen eye
You ever take and try to find
An iron-clad leave for yourself
From a three-rail billiard shot?
But just as I say
It takes judgment, brains, and maturity to score
In a balkline game
I say that any boob can take
And shove a ball in a pocket
And I call that sloth
The first big step on the road
To the depths of deg-ra-Day–
I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon
Then beer from a bottle
An’ the next thing ya know
Your son is playin’ for money
In a pinch-back suit
And list’nin to some big out-a-town jasper
Hearin’ him tell about horse-race gamblin’
Not a wholesome trottin’ race, no!
But a race where they set down right on the horse!
Like to see some stuck-up jockey’boy
Settin’ on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil?
Well, I should say
Now, Friends, lemme tell you what I mean
Ya got one, two, three, four, five, six pockets in a table
Pockets that mark the diff’rence
Between a gentlemen and a bum
With a capital “B”
And that rhymes with “P” and that stands for pool!
And all week long your River City
Youth’ll be fritterin’ away
I say your young men’ll be fritterin’!
Fritterin’ away their noontime, suppertime, choretime too!
Get the ball in the pocket
Never mind gettin’ dandelions pulled
Or the screen door patched or the beefsteak pounded
Never mind pumpin’ any water
‘Til your parents are caught with the cistern empty
On a Saturday night and that’s trouble
Yes you got lots and lots of trouble
I’m thinkin’ of the kids in the knickerbockers
Shirt-tail young ones, peekin’ in the pool
Hall window after school, ya got trouble, folks!
Right here in River City
Trouble with a capital “T”
And that rhymes with “P” and that stands for pool!
Now, I know all you folks are the right kind of parents
I’m gonna be perfectly frank
Would ya like to know what kinda conversation goes
On while they’re loafin’ around that Hall?
They be tryin’ out Bevo, tryin’ out cubebs
Tryin’ out Tailor Mades like cigarette fiends!
And braggin’ all about
How they’re gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen
One fine night, they leave the pool hall
Headin’ for the dance at the Arm’ry!
Libertine men and Scarlet women!
And Rag-time, shameless music
That’ll grab your son, your daughter
With the arms of a jungle animal instinct!
Mass-staria!
Friends, the idle brain is the devil’s playground!
Trouble (Oh we got trouble)
Right here in River City! (Right here in river city)
With a capital “T”
That rhymes with “P”
And that stands for Pool
(That stands for Pool)
Well, ya got trouble, my friend, right here, I say, trouble right here on the River. Why sure I’m a poker player, Certainly mighty proud I say I’m always mighty proud to say it. I consider that the hours I spend With a deck of cards in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate horse sense and patience and a keen eye for bluffing. Did ya ever three bet and angle shoot to give your opponent a headache from the three seat? But just as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and maturity to be the best at a poker game, I say that any boob can shove all in . And they call that bullying. The first big step on the road To equal the depth of knowledge of Negreanu – I say, first, medicinal wine from a teaspoon! Then beer from a bottle! An’ the next thing ya know, Your Vegan son is playin’ for money In a pinch-back suit. And list’nin online to some big out-a-town Jasper Hearin’ him tell about poker hands and gamblin’. “Ya Got Trouble” on the river…man! Not a wholesome home game, no! But a flip, a coin toss where the odds are split down right in the middle! Like to see some stuck-up dealer 'boy dishing out marked cards ? Make your blood boil? Well, I should say. Friends, let me tell you what I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six seven eight nine chairs at a table