It’s Monday morning, which is important to remember. By 11:30, my work is out of the way and my social media checked. It’s time for a little poker. I like the bounty tournaments because even if you don’t money, you can subsidize your entry fee by busting one or two players before you find yourself on the rail. I open Replay and enter the 100K PKO Benjamin Bounty. I don’t know the man himself, but word on the street is it’s all about him.
I start slow, with a K9 hitting a Q94 board. Someone makes the min bet. I call with second pair. The turn is uninteresting. My opponent bets out again, this time for 105 chips, and I follow. The river is an ace, but my opponent bets the same amount as on the turn. I call, hoping he’s playing a weaker nine than mine, but it’s the kicker for his queen that made him timid.
A moment later, I notice I’ve received a Poker Pro endorsement that could only be from him. That’s okay. I appreciate the sarcasm.
Three minutes and another worthless second pair later, I claim my first bounty.
On the button, I pot-raise with AQ suited. The big blind shoves, and UTG goes over the top. The thing is, UTG has raised a few hands preflop and I’m not convinced, so I commit all my chips. He shows QT, making me laugh. On the other hand, the small blind has nines, which worry me a bit. I’m used to not hitting the overpair in all-in conflips against medium pairs. The board comes AQT, though, and I briefly have to sweat a nine or ten. Neither comes and I actually have two bounties.
I also receive a second Poker Pro endorsement. There’s no time for it to go to my head, however, as the following hand is jacks. I raise. Someone questions my credibility and all the chips are in the middle. A jack hits the flop and it’s a third bounty and a third Poker Pro Endorsement for me.
Now, I am starting to feel good about myself. Everyone seems to think I’m the second coming of Phil Hellmuth.
A straight on the turn sends another player to the rail, but no endorsement this time. Ah, well. They say fame is fleeting.
I’m moved to a new table where a player named Snickers, whose icon is a racehorse crossing the finish line, is shoving on everyone. He’s running like a thoroughbred, too, with over 30K in chips.
I watch him take down two players before I’m dealt an AK. I make my traditional pot raise prior to the flop, and, as expected, he shoves. I call and he shows KQ.
The problem is it’s 11:56, ie, still Monday morning, and Monday mornings do not have the best reputation. Ask the Bangles or Boomtown Rats.
Anyway, my friend from Churchill Downs flops Broadway. No damsel in a floppy hat arrives on the turn or river with a mint julep to ease my distress. Snickers now has over 40K in chips. Me and my three Poker Pro endorsements are yesterday’s news.
The bright side is that the bounties I collected paid for all but 5K of my entry fee, and the 250K PKO Top Gun bounty tournament was starting on the stroke of Monday afternoon. In the immortal lyrics of Bob Geldof, I wanna shoo-oo-ooo-oot the whole… day… down.