Chemistry teacher :What is barium ? Student: It’s what you do after you Killum
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Mother-in-law came for dinner and said why does the dog keep staring at me ? I said, because you’re using his plate
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I’ve got a pen that can write underwater.
It can write other words too.
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I told myself I should quit drinking, but I don’t listen to drunks.
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What steps do you take if a lion is chasing you?
Big ones.
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What kind of books take the longest to read?
Yearbooks.
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Wanna suck less at golf? Then take up poker and split the suck in half.
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Say, that’s a nice ham you’ve got there.
It’d be a shame if someone put an ‘s’ in front of it, and an ‘e’ at the end.
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What did the science book say to the math book?
“Wow, you’ve got problems.”
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I taught a wolf to meditate.
Now he’s Aware Wolf.
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1 can try to make you laugh, but I’m not as good as a clown.
Those are some pretty big shoes to fill.
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