Learning to Play the Game
by
R. G. Pittenger
“Aces and faces and spots black and red
Produce all the hands that we play,” Father said.
“Chips may you have many and never a dearth,
But remember the chips do not know what they’re worth.
They merely dance to the fast changing odds
In the whirl of the deals and the gusts of the gods
As they build us up higher or break us in shards
When we play silly games with our old deck of cards.”
Checked Out
There was a lady stock broker
who used clients’ funds for poker.
One customer got wise, and to the lady’s surprise.
Saw fit to up and croaker.
Copyright © 2016, Paul Schneiter
Poker Haiku
The crowded table
Green felt and artistic cards
A very full house
Nice, Micki.
Poem Hold’em
I’ve waited long enough. Although i’m not inspired and, this poem is just a bluff. My hand is laid perfectly, so i’m ready to call this tough.
Does anyone pay attention in the game with what we construct. Literature so surreal, its time to double up. its a gamble, win or lose but, don’t stop cause we flop.
The time to place bets, blind to the want to stop. Force your competitor to raise. As your audiences jaws drop. set them up straight and, a collective conscious as your pot.
these are your thoughts, hold’em or not
Not pertaining to exactly poker, but worth a mention
“Keep coming back, and though the world may romp across your spine,
Let every game’s end find you still upon the battling line;
For when the One Great Scorer comes to mark against your name,
He writes - not that you won or lost - but how you played the Game.”
From Alumnus football by Grantland Rice.
It looks very appropriate to me. Good one.
Them that chases straights and flushes
Arrive in cars, go home on buses
Hahahahaha, exactly lol 
Yes, LOL
you’re still in the game with a chip and a chair
but as small blind, going all in’s hardly a dare
but pocket fours is pretty fair.
so you tripled your chip stack, but really don’t care
As big blind, a 10 4 seems hardly fair
cause two thirds your chip stack is in the dragon’s lair
three others go all in since your bounty is there
and an A A 4 flop get’s everyone to stare
a deuce on the turn seems pretty bare
but the king on the river makes everyone glare
anyone with an A or K will well fare
but as fates have it your boat wins over 33 by a hair.
the bounty is live and you’re starting to care
since quadrupling your stack, it’s not so bare
a record you think is about to tare
as two kings show themselves, another pocket pair
so you go all in preflop, the bounty game’s fair
as they all join you, two of them stare
they both have one ace, and might get a pair
but they were both all in, so a prayer’s in the air
quad kings tells the chip leader
it’s time to care
cause your stack now rivals
above the table’s air
so you play the next hand
like you really don’t care
and go all in blind
giving his eyes a cold stare
she sees her two queens
and calls on your dare
but the flop shows you
a four ten and seven to spare
then a queen of spades comes
so trips she does care
but the ace also a spade
gives you reason to care
it is possible to have a record fare
and a royal straight flush could be in the air
you turn one card and the king suited does stare
as eyes on the table continue to glare
an offer is now made to the prize be shared
no is responded, “for I alone will sit in a winner 's chair”
so the card is revealed as the dealer has dared
and a jack is presented And everyone cared
a straight is now seen beating a threesome pair
and a royal one, leaving everyone speechless and bare
the game is over and I won it quite fair
but a rematch is forthcoming since everyone does care.
spontaneously written for your pleasure
just hope you flush, is not up to full house, then. Why did you fold?!!
Playing no holdem poker
Pretty sure the 53rd card is the joker
Flop top rainbow straight
In goes the pot bet-now wait
A Call and a second club hits the board
Another strong bet I can afford
Again a call -no pairs amongst the 4 cards displayed
I am not afraid
Along comes the river
Just what will it deliver
I joke not- another club appears
Just to heighten my fears
Still no pairs to see
But I’m feeling weak at the knee
Confidence shattered I check
My opponent makes a small bet
So I make the call- what the heck
And cop one right in the neck!
I was there but now I’m not I’m round the corner smoking pot, with an ace in my hand and a cracking shot
speak not so loudly
for I am in pain
your voices sharpened edges are cutting my brain
Larry Winters
After a bad beat )
My AK failed me yesterday
Today, I was dealt two more
I “felt” lucky
as I went out the door
All my chips and rebuy went in quite quickly
Now I’m back home feeling a bit sickly
The turn was sick and the river was sicker
Never did I see my stack go quicker
When I looked up after this game of poker
Son of a gun, the dealer was the joker
Variance
It’s not your favorite spot. Under the gun,
some loose goose opens for a standard size.
Here GTO says folding would be wise,
but he’s been wide, and folding’s not much fun.
So you continue, hoping Goose will stop
just shipping metric tons of chips across
the betting line (with Queen High, you’re no boss,
and that’s all your hand’s getting from this flop)—
No such love. Villain sweats his cards, fake-sighs,
and shoves; you hate yourself. The room goes grey
like in a bad movie. Goose is bugging his eyes
out now, trying to make you give something away,
but you keep your face cold. “Wanna put it all
in with those rags?” And then: “OK, I—”
Why is it I have a taste for scrambled eggs all of a sudden?
All those villains are a dime a dozen
All those fakes and shoves you will see
Obviously, that’s your destiny
Sure, GTO says folding would be wise
Follow the trends with your own eyes
The algorithm is hidden behind the curtain
For this I know is very certain
A spaghetti western you are in
Someone is playing a mandolin
There you are betting king rag
Hoping this table is equipped with an airbag.
The final scene the villain is smiling
and 911 you are dialing
You dialed 911 but the lines were crossed
You sigh realizing you have lost
The scene is just about over now, and the screen says “The End”
But there’s a last, soft presidential whisper, " Keep an eye on the trend "
You notice Excaliburns is at your table
and your game needs a jumper cable
The dealer grins and starts to shuffle
Excaliburns is working on a crossword puzzle
The first hand is checked all the way around
While Excaliburns is working on 2 down
As the first hand of yours becomes a loss
Excaliburns is now working on 3 across
A player has aces and wants to definitely cash in
While Excaliburns asks you, “what’s another word for fashion?”
As the aces hand comes to an end
You blurt out, " If it’s 5 letters it’s probably trend "
Excaliburns looks up and says, " Well, you’re right "
While someone on TV is saying, “Fight, Fight, Fight!”
I got the joke. It took me a while,
but the five-letter word you refer to is “style”
