A monkey has been removed from the Local zoo after repeatedly pressing the…See More
Carol…If u do u will not have 2 ever wash clothes again …I tried it and got arrested 
Outside of a dog a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog it’s too dark to read.
What’s the difference between a poker player and a magician?
A magician only makes things disappear once.
Why did the scarecrow win at poker?
Because he had a good poker face.
What do you call a poker player with two left hands?
Bluff-handed.
Now i know you taking the mick lol after the last table we were on haha
I used to live hand to mouth, but then something completely changed my life.
Cutlery 
wow, you are posh! I am still regassing the tv lol
What do you call a bird that’s afraid to fly?
Chicken
My wife suggests we should workshop more.
.
.
.
I should work more so she should shop more…
If Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus…
Where the hell do the kids come from??
What does a Scotsman wear under his kilt?
On a good day, lipstick 
