Just a quick thought in passing. I find I fare far better when I have a “good attitude” at the table. If someone beats me in a pot and I think “what an idiot, how could they call that bet?” I end up living in the past and losing focus for at least a few hands. I may later be overaggressive against this opponent in an effort to prevent them from “getting lucky.” Or I may fail to recognize when villain is likely strong, based on position and action, because I am fixated on the idea that “this guy plays bad” or “she’s a maniac!”
All of these mental mistakes reduce my EV.
In contrast, when I think to myself “that was an interesting play” or “wow, I didn’t expect that. I’ll adjust accordingly” then I keep my focus and don’t go on some kind of emotional tilt. I remind myself that there are many ways to play winning poker, and just because someone made a play that I wouldn’t make, doesn’t make it bad. And even if it is a bad play, so what? That should make me happy—my advantage is bigger than I realized, because my opponent is doing things they shouldn’t be doing.
Variance comes for ALL OF US. The greatest poker player on the planet loses more hands than they win. You can never control everything at the poker table. Give up the illusion of control and focus on making the best decision with the information available at every juncture. With the right attitude, the bad beats will slide off you like rainwater.